Gibberish Thoughts

Kuleeeet!

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:20:25 GMT

In between bites of BBQ and caldereta, Amor were introducing some friends to each other:

Amor: Pia & Anthony just got married. They met during a medical mission.
Dr. Anthony: Yes, we met in Kashmir.
Carmela: Uhm, a hotel?

Naloka si Doc! Pati ako naloka! Grabe, Carmela, parang mahal na kita! Taga hotel industry ka nga!

Pero di pa don nagtapos ang kwento. Enter Olive, our favorite caterer:

Carmela: Nakakahiya ako, sa Kashmir daw sila nagkakilala...
Olive: Ah, sister, yung restaurant!

Kalurkei talaga! Bibong bibo ang Olivia! In fairness, may Kashmir restaurant talaga sa may Little India. Taga food industry ka nga, Ateng!

More Jolie!

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 04:34:52 GMT

While looking at these photos:

Amor: Kala ko ang title nyang movie eh Changi, like the Singapore airport.
Me: O...
Amor: Challenging pala!
Me: ...
Amor: (looked at me, then the picture) Ay, pota! Changeling pala.
Sile: Anuvah? Channeling!

Pota, humabol pa, tama na nga!

C'est Jolie!

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:34:57 GMT

While at the dinner table, browsing a magazine:

Me: Mag-fiancé pala sila no?
Sile: Ay talaga? Wala na sila?
Amor: Nyek! Anuvah, mag-fiancé nga eh... Fiancé! Fiancé!

Gulo! Pero hindi pa don nagtapos yan.

Me: Kunsabagay, yung iba nga ang tagal nang engaged, naghihiwalay pa...
(turned the page to look at the pictures of Angelina Jolie's new borns)
Me: Kita mo tong si Brad Pitt .. tagal na-engaged kay Gwyneth Paltrow....
Amor/Sile: (sabay) O, nagkahiwalay din?

At isang nakabibinging katahimikan po ang sumunod... di nakaimik ang fez ko! Tiningnan ko lang sila! Anuvah, may kambal na nga uli kay Angelina o! Ayaw ni Jennifer Aniston nyan!

Anu daw?

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:00:36 GMT

While watching Hancock:

Amor: Ang ganda ganda talaga nya no?
Me: Sino?
Amor: Yan o, si Shirley!
Me: ???
Amor: Yan o! Si Shirley! (Sabay turo sa bidang babae on screen.)
Sile: Mwahahahaha, Shirley daw!
Me: Nyahahahaha! Shirley!!!! Hahaha!
Amor: Ano ba kayo? Sabi ko Charlene! Tsk! Mga bingi!

Si Charlize Theron po ang tinutukoy nya mga friends... Charlizzzzzze!

I Heart New York!

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:10:58 GMT

While on Broadway with Amor, queuing for tickets to a show:

Me: So kung ubos na ang tickets to Legally Blonde, The Musical, what are we going to watch?
Amor: Mamma Mia?
Me: Ok, pero popular din yun. If ever ubos na din ang tix nun, Little Mermaid, The Musical na lang?
Amor: Sige! Sige! (sabay kanta) 'I can show you the world... shining, shimmering, splendid...'
Me: Gagu! Aladdin yan!

As a side note, we ended up getting two premium tickets to Legally Blonde for half the price via the TKTS booth just off Times Square. Ang ganda, promise! Sulit na sulit. Ako ay dakilang movie fan na ni Laura Bell Bundy, who played Elle Woods.

Deutsche on the runway

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:59:36 GMT

While downtown with the usual suspects, Amor and Sile:

Me: Jan nagwowork si Me-ann di ba?
Amor: Saan?
Me: (pointing) Jan o, sa Deutsche (NOTE: Phonetic Pronunciation: DOY-chuh)
Sile: Ay talaga? Sa Deutsche & Gabbana?

Anuvah!

The Incredible

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:47:44 GMT

While Amor & Sile were watching TV as I check my email:

Amor: (pointing at the screen) Ayan! Ayan! Gusto ko panoorin yan! Si Hulk Hogan!
Sile: (looking at me) Huh?
Peng: (looking at Sile) Huh?
Amor: (looking at Sile & me) Ayan oh! Anu vah?
Silence....
Amor: Ay! Incredible Hulk pala?! Sus! Pareho na rin yun!

Hinde! Yung isa Wrestlemania, yung isa green monster! Pareho lang malaki katawan!

Ga Ge Gi Go Goo!

Thu, 08 May 2008 17:50:32 GMT

While packing for an overseas trip:

Me: Shet, wala na kong disposable contact lenses for diving!
Sile: Di ba masakit yun pag nasa ilalim na ng tubig?
Amor: Hello? Mag-goo-google ka naman eh!
Me: Gagu, goggles! Google, eh search engine yun!
Amor: Oo nga! Sinadya ko lang sabihin yun para may ma-i-blog ka! Nagrereklamo na si Owen wala ka daw update eh!

Chorva! Palusot pa!

Movies, part 2

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:44:28 GMT

While browsing a teeny-bopper magazine online:

Me: Ang cute ni Ellen Page no?
Amor: Sino yun?
Me: Yung star sa Juno.
Amor: Ah, yung Korean tele-novela?
Me: Gagu, Jumong kaya yun!
Amor: Jumong nga!

I quit!

Gulo mo!

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 14:15:23 GMT

Last night, after working out:

Me: I have a new DVD, Hearthbreak Kid, wanna watch with me?
Amor: Sino bida jan?
Me: Tanong pa! Kahit sabihin ko naman di mo kilala no!
Amor: Jakan kita eh, sumagot ka ng maayos ah!
Me: Manood ka na lang kasi, di mo naman kilala -- si Ben Stiller!
Amor: Kilala ko! Yung bida sa 'Click'!
Me: Gagu, si Adam Sandler kaya yun!
Amor: Ay, yung bida sa '50 First Dates' pala!
Me: Gagu, si Adam Sandler pa din yun!
Amor: Jakan kita eh! Lika na manood na tayo!

Eto, matatawa kayo (sa inis)!

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 06:52:57 GMT

Filipino customs officials and employees, hard at work:

Thanks to my friend, Erwin, who took this photo and who went through hell trying to get some boxes of office documents shipped from their overseas office to the Philippine office. He spent a total of Peso 12,000 for all the red tape and bribing involved.

Some of the dialogues:

"O, 200 sa kin... 100 don.. yung mga pipirma bigyan mo ng tig-bebente!"

"Walang barya eh, yan nalang sukli mo."

"Ipa-compute mo muna yan... 400 dun, para magpa-compute."

According to Erwin, ang mga empleyado sa Customs, parang manikin sa malls, kung hindi huhulugan ng pera, hindi gagalaw!

When I bought my aircon sa Duty Free NAIA, nanghingi ng Peso 1,000 yung officer para daw hindi ako itax at i-levy.

In short, mga walanghiyang buwaya talaga kayo CUSTOMS officials and employees!!!!

Name game

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 15:12:10 GMT

Nandito ulit ako sa Pilipinas to celebrate Xmas and New Year. Umuwi ako sa family home namin sa Novaliches, where I spent much of my childhood. Nameet ko ulit ang mga kapitbahay kong kakaiba at bonggang-bongga ang mga pangalan.

Tulad nalang ng pamilya ni Aling Etang, na lola ng batang si Etong, na anak ni Meme, na kapatid nina Bitoy, Ayong, O-ne, Ayot at A-ne. Sa tapat nila nakatira si Titit, na anak ni Mang Prancing. Tinutumbok ng bahay nila ang bahay ni Sunget, na nanay ni Luwing Kirat, na barkada ni Erik Dimonyo at ni Manok.

Akala ko dito lang sa lugar namin ang ganyan. Pero dumayo ako ng paglaro ng mah-jong kila Amor, sa bandang Batasan, at nakalaro ko si Tanoy at si Gida na mala-Guidaben sa tangkad, kaya binansagang Gida, kahit Julie ang pangalan. Si Gida ay anak ni Aling Tutay, na kapitbahay nila Popeye, Ilong at Taba. Dun din nakatira sila Biben, Baklang Unyik at Teklang Manikurista.

Yan ang cast of characters sa mga lugar namin. I just wanted you to meet them.

On losing weight...

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 14:47:26 GMT

While having dinner with friends:

Me: Grabe Nini, pumapayat ka ah!
Amor: Oo nga Ni, anong sikreto mo?
Nini: Kakaisip sa mga anak ko... subukan mo, papayat ka din!
Me: Avah! Nakakapayat pala yun..
Amor: Isipin ko nga din mga anak mo, para pumayat din ako!

Ayan, isipin nyo na din sila!

Leah F. strikes again!

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 10:15:53 GMT

After a very long time, I met with Leah F. again, and in a span of minutes, she was able to make my day!

While talking about our fave TV series:

Me: I love Heroes!
Leah F: Oo nga, I have the DVD!
Sara: What about Brothers and Sisters? Ganda mga reviews eh!
Amor: Ang ganda nga nun! Addicting sya!
Me: Smallville din maganda dahil ang sarap titigan ni Tom Welling!
Leah F: Eh yung Home? (no reaction from us).... House?

Ah! Yun pala!

While talking about business trips:

Me: So san yung next trip mo?
Leah F: Sa Mumbai.
Me: India again? Nag stay ka na ba sa Leela Palace Hotel?
Leah F: Yung binili ng Kempinski? Hindi pa eh... bakit?
Me: Pupunta kasi ako don sa November.
Leah F: San? Sa Mumbai?
Me: Hindi ko pa alam eh...
Leah F: Sa Mumbai?
Me: Di ko pa alam... Meron din kasi sila sa Bangalore, Kerala...
Leah F: So sa Mumbai nga?
Me: Di ko pa nga alam!
Leah F: Ah, hindi pa sure!

Yun nga sabi ko!

Still about biz trips:

Me: So galing ka lang sa Bali?
Leah F: Oo, alam mo ba, may Krispy Kreme na dun?
Me: Ay talaga? San sa Bali? Sa Patong Beach?
Leah F: Anuvah, Phuket yan!

Anuvah, nakakahawa ka kasi!

Speaking of geography:

Sara: I really don't like winter!
Amor: Ako din eh! Ayoko talaga sha!
Sara: Pinakamalamig na na-experience ko was 5 degrees.
Leah F: Greece?

In fairness, five deGreece nga naman!

Disclaimer: May jetlag po talaga sha... kalalapag nya palang from Bali... or was it Jakarta, Leah? Hehe.

For more Leah-isms, go here

L.T.

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 11:11:03 GMT

While hiking in Mt. Faber with Sile and Amor:

Me: Hala Sile, ang laki na din ng tyan mo!
Sile: Oo nga eh, ang lakas ko kasi sa kanin!
Me: Eh wag ka na mag-kanin!
Sile: Hindi pwede, mamamatay ako!
Amor: Wag kang mag-alala, ipalilibing kita!

Anu vah! Magpumiling Lorna Tolentino talaga?!

Na na na na

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 20:16:56 GMT

Not too long ago, a conversation between my friends Amor and Marge went like this:

Amor May word ba na nagsisimula sa en-ye(Ñ)?
Marge: Oo naman! Sus!
Amor: Ano?
Marge: Nyog!

Ñek!

Back to regular programming...

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 02:02:47 GMT

Thank G-d for friends like Amor, who can still make me laugh during those trying times.

The day after my grandma was buried:

Me: (crying) I can't believe na wala na si Nanay... biro mo nasa ilalim na sya ng lupa ngayon...
Amor: (crying too) Wag ka na malungkot... wala naman sya sa ilalim ng lupa eh, di ba above ground naman ang nitso nya?

Natawa ko talaga, promise! Malamang natawa din si Nanay sa kanya!

Farewell to you, Nanay!

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 09:54:39 GMT

To my loving grandmother, you will be missed. Dearly. Our hearts are crying because you're gone.

But you will finally be able to rest in peace, without any pain, without the inconveniences. We love you Nanay, very much.

Racism in Montreal -- my mom was discriminated against by a Vietnamese salon owner!

Tue, 22 May 2007 13:30:09 GMT

Dear friends,

I'm posting the letter that my sister Elizabeth sent to the Montreal papers. It's about a racist Vietnamese salon owner who discriminated against my mother.

Racism is painful, and I will do my part in eliminating it. I am really hurt by this incident of racism and my mom is really depressed about it. Read on.

Fyi, this is the address of the salon:
Hair Salon 2000 Plus
4721 Ave. Van Horne, Local 4
Montreal, Quebec
H3W 1H8 Canada
Tel no: +1-514-341-8904
Cell: +1-514-862-1299

Thanks,
Jennifer

May 22, 2007

I am writing to share with your readers my family’s first-hand experience of racism at the Hair Salon 2000 on Van Horne Ave.

On May 19, my mother, my daughter and I went to the salon at 11 am for our haircut appointment. The room was full of clients and noticeably, most of the customers were Filipinos, just like us. We patiently waited for our turn and after an hour and a half of waiting, my daughter and I were called for our turn. Shortly after, the assistant called my mother for shampooing. But at the same time, two Caucasian ladies arrived and suddenly, the owner, Danielle, asked the assistant to bump my mother off and to immediately assist the two Caucasian women instead. Upon hearing this, I immediately complained to the owner and said it is not fair that the two ladies were jumping the queue, especially since there were a few of us who had been waiting for much longer and with appointments to boot. Danielle ignored my appeal, and proceeded to assist the women. Furious, I explained to her that just because they are white, they do not deserve special treatment. They have to wait for their turn like everyone else. But Danielle replied, “I am the boss, I can do whatever I want!” I bluntly told her that she should be ashamed of herself to say that in front of her clientele, which is composed of mostly Filipinos.

So my mother was refused service in favor of the two Caucasian women, amid protests by the other Filipino clients. I was really shocked to witness such discrimination and unfair treatment, especially from Danielle, who is a visible minority herself. My mother immediately left the salon emotionally distraught. It was a painful experience for her, for me and for my daughter. It is so hard to witness such bias, especially in this country which prides itself with multiculturalism. My mother said she was deeply embarrassed since the discrimination was done openly and in front of others in a humiliating manner. She said if she were asked politely to give way to the women, it would have been a different feeling, but instead, she felt so discriminated against in front of her daughter and her 11-year-old granddaughter.

It is sad that my daughter had to witness such bigotry, and it is heartbreaking that my mother had to experience it first-hand. Let’s all eliminate racism by speaking out and educating our children about it. Nobody should ever experience such disgusting treatment, whether they are Filipinos, Vietnamese, Blacks, Hispanics, or any other minorities. Sadly, there exist such racist establishments like Hair Salon 2000.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Ellson-Fernandez
Mobile: 514 814 4176

A similar incident happened in the US last week. A Vietnamese salon owner refused service to a black family. It is really sad that such bigotry exists between visible minorities. Here is the newspaper story:

Ex-customers accuse salon of discrimination. Owner said she just didn't know how to do their hair.

11:29 PM CDT on Wednesday, May 16, 2007

By Wendell Edwards / 11 News

At a strip center in northwest Houston is the Fantasy Cut and
Nails Salon a salon that appears to be open to the public, but 11 News has been told not everyone is welcomed.

Hard to fathom, but Tia Dosewell said that’s what happened to her. She had been a regular customer at the shop for nearly year. It’s just around the corner from her home.

“It just hit me in the face,” Dosewell said. “This is straight up discrimination.”

But in April she stopped getting her hair cut after being refused service — not once but three times.

She learned why on her final visit.

“As soon as I walked into the door, she immediately approached me and told me she could not cut my hair,” Dosewell said. “Then at that time I was demanding answers.

“I said that’s just straight up discrimination; so you are discriminating against me. I can’t cut your hair.”

And she wasn’t alone.

Dosewell found out her son, her friend and her friend’s mom all were refused service by shop manager Jenny Truong, they say because they were black.

The group shared their stories with 11 News.

“She just straight told me that, ‘we can’t cut black people hair. We can’t cut your hair anymore. I’ll send you down to my friends shop down the street,’” Bobbie Ross said.

“’We no cut no black hair, no more because they complain too
much,’” Katie Anderson said. “’You go down the street,’ and she was telling me about the other shop.”

It sounds hard to imagine.

Discrimination laws date back to 1968, and 11 News legal analyst Gerald Treece said the law is clear: “And it says any
facility in the United States open to the public has to engage in non-discrimination,” Treece said.

And punishment can be severe, he said.

“The penalties are both civil, that is people can sue you for a violation of this, and they are criminal,” Treece said. ”This is something the Department of Justice can investigate.”

11 News confronted Jenny Truong.

11 News: “Jenny, I’m Wendell Edwards from Channel 11. Some of your former customers tell me you refuse to cut black people’s hair — is this true?

JT: “No, no, no, we never do that, we have customers with black hair but the trouble.”

At first Troung denied that she ever refused service to black customers. But in the middle of the conversation she said she didn’t know how to cut that type of hair.

JT: “That’s different hair.”

11 News: “But that’s discrimination. You were cutting their hair before, and then you stopped all of a sudden. Why?”

JT: “I stopped because they got curly hair. I got in trouble; they complain to me.”

Truong said one person complained, and since then she stopped
serving black patrons.

11 News: “So you don’t cut black people’s hair anymore?

JT: “Because that’s curly hair.”

11 News: “Are you racist?”

“No, she is not racist,” another employee said. “Before we cut one or two customer, and the customer you know, they — they argue.”

At this point, Dosewell and her friends said they don’t want to return to the shop.

“I appreciated the service, but then to find out I’m not appreciated because of my race — it is hard,” Dosewell said. “I spent a lot of money in that shop, and I was a good customer.”

But now this former customer is considering a lawsuit alleging discrimination by the business that turned her away.

Truong told 11 News the salon does provide other services such as manicures and pedicures to African American customers.

One other note, 11 News legal expert Professor Jerry Treece said businesses open to the public cannot turn away customers -- not for the texture of the hair and not because people complain.

The laws of discrimination are clear. However, the business could ask clients to sign a waiver that states the quality of their work may not satisfy all customers said Treece.

C'est magnifique!

Sat, 12 May 2007 15:10:36 GMT

After watching Spiderman 3:

Me: Ano next natin panoorin?
Amor: Yung Magnificent Four 2
Me: Sino bida don?
Amor: Anu ka vah? Sequel yun nung movie ni Jessica Alba na invisible woman sya!
Me: Fantastic Four....

D is for Dora, or Denver

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 19:59:23 GMT

While introducing my sis to my Taiwanese co-worker:

Me: Nick, meet my sister, Jeng. Ate Jeng, this is Nick.
Nick: Kamusta ka?
Jeng: Mabuti. Nice to meet you! You speak Tagalog?
Nick: Konti lang. Nice to meet you too, I'm a lucky person...
Jeng: No, you're not malaki person!
Me: Tange, he's lucky daw, dahil na-meet ka nya!
Jeng: Ay, malay ko ba! Kala ko nagtatagalog pa din eh!

Tumambling ako don, promise!

Meanwhile at the children's book section with Sile:

Sile: Tingnan natin yung book ni Dora!
Me: Dora, the Last Dinosaur? (sabay hum ng theme song nung cartoons na yun.)
Sile: Sira! Si Denver yan!

Nalito na naman ang mundo ko! Gawin daw bang dinosaur si Dora!

For those not in the know, Denver the Last Dinosaur was a cartoon hit during the '80s, while Dora is the reigning cartoon diva.

Here's good old Denver in his glory days:

And here is Dora in all her glory:

O di ba, magkahawig naman sila!?!

From Disney to Crikey!

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 18:56:21 GMT

In Hong Kong:

Me: Ayun! Pa-picture ka din kay Pocahontas para makita ng mga pamangkin mo!
Amor: Sige! Gusto ko sya! Lalo nung nag-pretend syang lalake para maging sundalo.
Me: Ha? Parang si Mulan yata yun?
Amor: Oo nga, si Mulan nga yun! Gulo mo!

Naguluhan talaga mundo ko!

Still in Hong Kong:

Mackee: Shet! Si Aurora! Crush ko yan, pa-picture tayo!
Amor: Sige! Sige! Asan si Aurora? Pa-picture tayo, bilis!
Mackee: Kilala mo ba si Aurora?
Amor: Hinde.

At dun nagtapos ang usapan na yun.

In Singapore:

Me: Kamuka nya si Crocodile Dundee.
Mimin: Patay na yun eh!
Me: Ay talaga? Ano kinamatay?
Mimin: Natusok ng stingray.
Amor: Anu vah? All over the news kaya yun!
Me: Anu vah? Si Crocodile Hunter kaya yun!

Langya, pinatay si Dundee!

Farts and 'Kentut'

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 10:53:28 GMT

There's this place in Malaysia that is called Pulau Kentut, which literally translates to Island of Farts.

The 'Fart' part is probably making you laugh right now, but for Filipinos, it's the 'Kentut' part that is causing hysterics, for sure.

According to legend, there was once a Malaysian prince who ate half-cooked rice during a wedding feast. His majesty suffered indigestion and farted two islands: the Pulau Kentut Besar (Big Fart Island) and Pulau Kentut Kecil (Small Fart Island)!

Big Fart? Small Fart? Kentut? Now, that makes me want to go there!

Not fair!

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 11:11:02 GMT

I saw a Montreal Gazette article this morning about the benefits of senior Canadian citizens when they retire. I read that on average, the retirees get around $16,000 per year once they reach the age of 65. My Dad recently retired from his job and so I called him to tease him about it:

Me: Oy De, laki pala ng nakukuha mo per month from the government ha?
Dad: Hinde ah! $450/month nga lang eh!
Me: E bat sabi sa jario mga $16,000/yr so dapat mga $1400/month yun!
Dad: Tinanong ko nga din eh.. sabi yan daw eh pag mag isa ka lang.. pero pag may asawa ka at nagtatrabaho pa sya, maliit lang!
Me: E di i-divorce mo na si Mommy! Pinaliliit pala nya pera mo eh!

Hehe. But seriously, why is the system penalizing those who choose to work because they are still capable? The system is just encouraging more to freeload and abuse the system. My Mom can easily resign from her job just so that my Dad's and her pension will be augmented.

I'm a star... trek!

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 07:54:03 GMT

Apparently, I look like the Captain from Startrek, or Prof. Xavier from X-men!

=====
In other news:

Me: Nanalo si Jennifer Hudson sa Golden Globes!
Amor: Ay talaga? Magaling naman talaga sya sa You, Me & Dupree!
Me: Nyek! Si Kate Hudson kaya yun!
Amor: Gulo mo! Tsk!

Ako pa daw magulo!